Juggling the needs of three kids

Well, I guess it had to happen eventually, but it breaks my heart to hear it.  Eliana said this evening that she wished that she didn't have a little sister because Mom and Dad only take care of Magdalena. 

Laney had an especially bad day today.  I am currently typing this while wearing her in my Ergo carrier while bouncing on the computer chair, as this is the only way to keep her calm.  Usually she sleeps pretty well during the day and doesn't hit her fussy period until dinner or after.  Well today she started at 1pm.  She basically ate and slept all morning, but after lunch she would not take a nap.  She would fall asleep for a few minutes in mine or David's arms, but the second you laid her down, she was screaming.  I paced the house with her.  I wore her in the carrier.  We went for a stroller ride around the block.  Nothing would put her to sleep, and she was crying on and off all day.  By 5pm, she was stuck in the "on" mode for crying - there was no off.  William also had a rough day today, as he took a 15 minute car nap after church and decided that was all the sleep he needed for the day instead of his usual 2 hour nap.  So by about 5pm, he was also exhausted, and crying that he was hungry and wanted a granola bar (a constant battle with him - he wants to snack all day and not eat actual meals, but that is a story for a different blog post).  So I am bouncing Laney around, trying to nurse her and keep her calm, while also trying to comfort William and keep him from falling apart until dinner is ready, and trying to play will Eliana.  We are sitting on the couch reading.  First I read the book that William picks out.  Then it's Eliana's turn to pick a book.  We have been reading the chapter book Charlotte's Web together, a few chapters at a time.  Eliana loves the book and doesn't want to put it down, but it is much harder for William to sit still and listen to, since there are just a few pictures and lots and lots of words.  But as I start to read Charlotte's Web, Laney flips out and starts wailing.  Nothing is calming her down.  So I put the book down and start pacing the house with her again, telling Eliana she has to wait a minute while I take care of Laney.  That's all that Eliana has heard the past few days - wait while I take care of Laney ... wait while I take care of your brother... wait while I nurse Laney.  Twice in the past two days Eliana and I were supposed to work on her Halloween costume together but had to abandon the project so I could take care of a crying Laney.  I am acutely aware of how much Eliana has been putting up with the past few weeks.  I know she has had to wait while her siblings needs come before her own.  But I was hoping she hadn't noticed.  Or that maybe she didn't mind.  Or maybe she would forget ...

That's when Eliana started crying.  She said, "I wish I didn't have a baby sister.  You and Dad only take care of Magdalena.  I wish I could only be at school because at least my teachers take care of me."  She said a few more things along these lines and I wanted to join in the crying too.  It breaks my heart to know she feels so neglected.  I never want her to think that I love her sister more than her.  Now I have three crying kids, dinner is in the oven, and David is not home.  So I did the best I could - I put Laney in the baby swing, where she cried very loudly.  I figured she was crying in my arms anyway.  I sat on the couch with my big kids and I wrapped one arm around my crying son and my other arm around my crying daughter.  And I read Charlotte's Web as loud as I could over the tears.  It was a pretty crazy scene.  But I know it made a difference for Eliana.  She stopped crying and snuggled in close.  When David got home a few minutes later, he took William and finished making dinner.  I picked up Laney and nursed her for the 100th time that day.  And I talked with Eliana.  I tried to empathize with her that having a baby sister can be tough.  But I also explained that Laney is only a baby for a little while and that things will get better.  Eventually she will be fun to play with and won't take up quite so much of my time.  I told her how much I appreciated her being a big helper.  We hugged and I kissed her, and then it was time for dinner.  After dinner, I told David what Eliana had said, and he talked to her as well.  They had some special Father/Daughter time playing this cat game on his phone.  He told me that she said the same things to him - that she wished she didn't have a baby sister and that it was just her and William again.  Parenting can be really tough sometimes.  So many needs pull you in so many different directions.  We are doing the best we can, but David and I are definitely being stretched thin right now.  It seems appropriate that the readings for mass today were about prayer and crying out to God.  I just have to lean on God right now to give me the strength to keep going and keep trying.  To show me how to balance the needs of all of my children, my spouse, work around the house, and taking care of myself.  If you would, please say a little prayer for us too.  We could use a little extra help these days.

One month old

Our little Laney is one month old!  That means just 11 more months until she is one - that is crazy! She is our little baby.  At her check-up, she weighed 10lbs 7oz (80%) and was 20.75in long (29%).  So if you are paying close attention, you would say that is the same length from birth.  However, her ped office measured her at 19.5in long at her first appointment so either the hospital was a little off or her ped just keeps measuring her small.  But I guess that is showing she has grown.  By comparison, at one month Eliana weighed 11lbs 13 oz and Will was 12lbs!  It's hard to believe we have such a "tiny" baby.  At her appointment, Laney was wide awake, looking around, and smiling.  When Dr. Ferguson entered the room, she asked if I had any concerns.  I said, "Yes, I think she has colic.  What should we do?!"  Which is pretty funny considering how pleasant and sweet she was that morning.  I have said multiple times if she wasn't so cute, I might be tempted to give her back to the hospital (only at 1am though).  Little Laney Lu has a split personality.  She is smiley and so sweet during the day, usually sleeping most of the morning and taking a 3hr nap in the afternoon.  But then after dinner a switch flips and she becomes a different girl.  From about 7 or 8pm to 1am, she is fussy, irritable, constantly nursing, and needs a lot of attention.  It's not that she necessarily is crying nonstop every night.  It is that she cries on and off and needs so much work! We are constantly holding or wearing her and walking around the house.  She likes movement, loud music, and her paci.  She will be asleep in your arms and then out of the blue she just starts wailing. And the hardest part is that she never wants to go to bed before midnight or 1am.  We are exhausted!  David has been amazing through all of this.  Many evenings he will take Laney for a couple of hours so I can get some sleep.  Then in the mornings he gets up with the big kids and lets me sleep in until he has to go to work.  Plus he is making many of the meals, cleaning the kitchen, getting William to bed every night, and picking up my slack in a thousand different ways.  This is on top of his full time job, his research schedule, and the time he is studying for fellowship.  How does he do it??  I am so lucky to be married to this amazing man.
So back to the doctor's appointment.  Dr. Ferguson said Laney was very alert for her age (more like a 2 month old) and that might contribute to the colic/fussiness.  Colic, she said, is believed to be related to over stimulation and an inability to weed out the unnecessary noises and sights.  As babies get more tired, they are less able to handle all that goes on in their environment.  Which is why the crying is worst in the evenings.  So Laney looks healthy and bright and we just have to wait for her to outgrow this.  On the plus side, she really does smile a lot(just not after 8pm)!

They both want to hold her so much.

Picture of Eliana at 9 days old. 

Laney at 11 days old.

 Check it out!! Twins!

Sisters

Pumpkin Patch

On a Friday, Eliana's day off from school, I ventured out of the house with all three kids to a pumpkin patch.  I am still getting used to how long it takes us to do everything!  My goal was to leave the house around 9am but we couldn't make it out the door until a little after 10am.  Hopefully we get a little better at that...

We had  a great time!  This particular farm had just a few things to do - a straw bale maze, a slide, and a corn box.  But that was totally fine with my crew, they enjoyed all of it!  William and Eliana loved running around the straw maze and chasing each other.  They also really liked the corn box and spent a lot of time burying a stuffed kitty cat (Eliana) and filling cars with corn (William).  Magdalena spent all morning sleeping in the carrier.  Laney usually stays up very late at night and then spends most of the morning sleeping.  While that does not let me get a lot of sleep, it does make it a little easier to do things with the big kids.

Sometimes I am so deliriously happy with the three kids that I think I must have lost my mind.  God has blessed us so much, and I can tell the kids, despite their fights and other silliness, really do love each other.  What a fun time this is in our lives.  We get to go to a pumpkin patch together where the kids enjoy just scooping corn and I can snuggle my youngest baby all morning.  The joy my big kids have in these little things brings a huge smile to my face.  This time is so fleeting so I want to soak up every second.

Posing with Grey Stripe the kitty.

scooping corn

Magdalena enjoying the Ergo.

There is a kitty cat buried in that pumpkin head full of corn...

Oh shoot, someone got us with a handful of straw.

Someone woke up to nurse - this is the best she can do for participating in the corn box fun.

William spent a long time picking out his pumpkin.

He finally found the perfect one.

My little pumpkins - love!!

Our pumpkin family.  Sorry David, I couldn't carry another pumpkin so you didn't get one.

William wanted Laney to hold her little pumpkin herself. 

First Day of School

About a week before Magdalena was born, Eliana went back to school.  I was hoping that baby three would wait until after school started to arrive so that I could be there for Eliana's first day.  Ha, like a child of mine would arrive before 39 weeks...

Eliana is in 4 year old preschool this year, going to school 4 mornings a week in the Teddy Bear Class.  Once again, she is in class with her best friend Adele whom we car pool with.  Eliana has been pretty excited to go back to school.  For the most part, she gets ready in the morning without complaint and will hurry to get ready if she knows she might be late for school (which is a vast improvement from last year).  One Friday she even asked me why she didn't have school that morning.  I explained that she only goes to school 4 days a week so she has Friday off.  She replied, "I wish I went to school every day!"

Her teachers this year are Mrs.Theado and Mrs. Strummer.  Eliana often comes home from school excited to tell me about what she has learned or show me the papers in her backpack.  Each week her class focuses on a different letter of the alphabet.  This week was "D" week and we were in charge of snack.  We brought carrots and hummus for "Dunking," crackers and cheese that were in the shape of Diamonds, and Donuts, of course.  Recently her classroom has had a pretend pumpkin patch with different jobs for the kids to do like be the farmer or the store owner or someone shopping.  Eliana has especially loved this and comes home telling me all about what her job was in the pumpkin patch. 

Facts about Eliana:
When she writes her name, only the "i" and the "n" are lower case.
Her favorite color is purple.
Her favorite pet is a kitty.
She wants to be a ballerina/mommy/astronaut/engineer when she grows up. 
Her favorite TV show is "Nature Cat."
Her favorite book right now is the Dinosaur treasury.
She is very curious about hurricanes and says she is never going to live on the beach!

Wearing her favorite unicorn shirt!

Love these cuties!

Outside the Teddy Bear classroom.

And I had to throw this one in, just for fun, even though it has nothing to do with the first day of school.  Look at my beautiful family!

Bathtime

Magdalena is a little fish and loves her bath time.  I always have many helpers when I give Laney a bath.  All three kids think it is a blast and the floor always ends up flooded.  I tried putting the little tub in the big tub to cut down on the mess, but that made it hard for the big kids to help which made them quite sad.  Sometimes I feel bad for our little baby because half of the decisions that I make for her are based on what her siblings want.  Luckily she doesn't mind for the most part.  So Laney is bathed in her little tub on the floor with lots of pokes to the eyes and giggles from her brother and sister.

William working hard to get his sister clean.

Ok, I'll play along, she thinks.

So to be fair, here are some recent pictures of the older kids enjoying a bubble bath:

Swimming in the bubbles.

William is "drinking coffee" in this picture.

Sleepytime snuggles

Laney is checking out the many beds available for snuggles in this house.

William thought this was hilarious when I let Laney lay with him in his crib this morning.

Eliana was quite jealous and wanted to know when it would be here turn.

All of the above pictures were taken in the morning, because this is what our evenings look like.

David went back to work today and Magdalena put on quite a show.  I have been lucky to have David at home for so long - this was the longest paternity leave that he has taken with any of the kids.  He said he is nerous about me being able to take care of three kids on my own.  I said we figured out one, then we figured out two, so I know we will figure out three.  Also luckily today I had our nanny come to help out with the kids.  We are going to continue to pay Teo during my maternity leave so we will just have her come a couple of days a week to help clean up around the house and give me a little bit of a break.  Per her usual, Laney spent the morning napping, so I did as well.  We both got up around 11am, and I fed Magdalena and then held her for a while.  Teo remarked that she was such a good baby - she didn't even cry.  I said, "Oh just you wait until this afternoon.."  And Laney did not disappoint.  About an hour later the fussiness started.  For the next four hours, Laney cried on and off as I nursed her and Teo snuggled her and walked her around the house.  How grateful I am for the help!  On a side note, William has become very much a daddy's boy.  He wants nothing to do with me, so I am sure today was tough on him without David being home.  He doesn't want me to change his diapers, get his milk, or read him books.  When William woke up from his nap, he was crying quite hard.  As I walked in his room, he waved his hand and said, "Not you!!"  and refused to let me get him up from his crib.  So Teo was holding a crying Laney and I was standing next to a crying William.  At that point I just had to laugh.  I thought, boy, this is going to be fun tomorrow when I'm doing it on my own.  What can you do?  Being my third child, at least I have the wisdom to know that these are all phases and they shall pass eventually.  So instead of despairing, I have been able to laugh.  Magdalena has brought such love and joy to our family that even through the tears, I see nothing but blessing. 

Newborn photo shoot

Do you see that dimple?!

worn out

Newborns don't sleep

Laney Lu has been giving us a bit of a hard time these first two weeks of our life.  When William was born, he was the easiest and sweetest baby ever.  He hardly ever cried and slept all the time.   I thought, "Second baby - we've got this figured out.  Look what good parents we are!"  Then Laney was born.  She has definitely humbled me as a parent - I am not the expert I wanted to believe I was.  Except for the first hour of her life when she was really calm, she has been pretty darn fussy and needs lots of attention and comforting.  She especially hates to sleep at night.  For the first week of her life, she would cry the second you tried to set her down at night.  During the day she would be willing to take naps but at night, she hardly slept at all.  Just nursed and cried.  David and I would take turns staying awake with her so the other parent could sleep.  After nursing on and off for four hours in the middle of the night, I would tag out and tell David it was his turn.  Then I would try to get some sleep while I heard Laney fussing and David trying to soothe her.  It's been kinda terrible!  Now Laney will sleep for a few hours in her bassinet at night, but usually when she wakes up it is not a simple feed and go back to sleep.  She wakes in the middle of the night and eats then wants to stay awake for an hour or two to play.  While this has been difficult and David and I are both really tired, I can appreciate the beauty these night time play sessions.  It is my chance to be with Laney by myself.  No big kids jumping on my while I nurse or tapping her on her head.  No demands from big kids for playing dinosaurs or getting a snack.  Maybe Laney appreciates this one on one mommy time too.  So for now I've been trying to be patient as Laney figures out her day vs night schedule.  And I've been soaking up all the baby time I can, because I know all too well how quick time moves. 

First day home

They love her so much!

Reading with Dad

Sometimes William can be so sweet with his sister.

Grandparents come to visit.  My mom stayed with the big kids while I was in the hospital then took them back to Indy with her for a few days.  It was so wonderful to have a couple of days at home with just David, Laney, and me.  I love my big kids, but the two days were the calm before the storm of all the activity a family of five brings.

Grandpa Flanigan holding Laney.  Don't worry, he's not making her cry.  That's a pretty typical state for her.

Grandma Bond.  David's parents came to visit to meet their newest granddaughter and to celebrate David's birthday.  We had a beautiful day together with many many things to be thankful for!

Snuggles with Grandpa Bond.