CCWC

Today I went to the Columbus Catholic Women's Conference, and it was just what my soul needed to hear.  I have really been struggling with Eliana not sleeping, being pregnant, and David working long hours and not being home at night while working night shift.  This conference was absolutely beautiful and uplifting.  The Holy Spirit was definitely at work today transforming me and leading me back to God.

One of the speakers today, Kimberly Hahn, spoke about our vocations in life.  She said that my vocation is not marriage in general.  My vocation is David.  My path to holiness and heaven is not around David, but rather through him.  It is a simple message, but carries so much meaning.  In the stress of sleepless nights and raising a toddler, I had lost sight of that.  I was fighting with David instead of working with him and traveling together on this journey of parenthood.

The beautiful speakers at this conference have helped me change my despair into hope.  I can trust in the Lord to be my strength.  Even when I feel alone at night with a screaming little girl while David works at the hospital, I am not really alone.  Christ is there with me, giving me the strength I do not possess on my own.  This time of trial is a reminder to me of my dependence on the Father.  It is through my family that I will be led back to my Savior and recognize my utter need for him.  Amen!

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.'  I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.  Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor 9-11

My special Valentine, plus an ice cream treat

For Valentine's Day, Eliana made cards for everyone in her daycare class.  She had a blast making them!

 

This was a fantastic project.  First I let her use the scissors to make little cuts on a piece of paper while I cut out circles and hearts.  Then I drew smiley faces on them (the smiles on the hearts were her idea).  Then either she or I would glue them to the purple card.  And she topped them off by drawing on them with her favorite purple pen.  Great project to keep Eliana entertained, and we ended up with really cool personalized cards.

Eliana decided to put a frowny face on this heart (can you tell with the down lines on the mouth?).  Funny enough, this is the card that ended up in her own Valentine's bag. 

This picture is from today, and shows that I am the Best Mom Ever!  As a special treat, Eliana and I got ice cream from DQ today.  She was very excited about the sprinkles, although she found the ice cream was a little too cold.  There might be a little stress eating going on here, as we are now onto the seventh night of Eliana's sleep strike.  When she woke up at 3:50 this morning and didn't want to go back to bed, we both were in tears.  Praying for a better night tonight!

2nd Birthday Party

I know it was a while ago, but here are some pictures from Eliana's second birthday party with my side of the family.  We started out the morning at Firefly Play Cafe, an indoor play area for little ones, with Eliana's friend Adele.  She loved the bounce house, even though she doesn't actually know how to jump, and she kept trying to pull Adele in to join her.  Then we went back to my house for chili and cupcakes (some of Eliana's favorite food).  I made peach cupcakes with brown sugar frosting.  If you didn't count the frosting, the cupcakes were actually not that bad for you, made with real peaches for sweetness and half the flour was whole wheat.  I found the recipe from one of my favorite food blogs www.smittenkitchen.com. Can you believe our little baby is two years old?!

Climbing at Firefly

With Adele

Bounce house.  Eliana kept grabbing dolls and throwing them in the bounce house to jump with her too.

Cupcake treat at Firefly.  I think they liked it!

Back at the Bond house again.  Eliana is opening presents with my family watching.

Two candles for the birthday girl.

She blew them both out!

Life is short, eat the frosting first.

Back to playing with her new Little People grocery store, which she loved!

Sleep Struggles

Lest you think our life is all cute toddler kisses and roses, I will share with you our latest struggle.  Eliana has become a terrible sleeper.  This has been going on, on and off, for about two months now.  She hates naps, rarely sleeps through the night, usually getting up once or twice a night, and often wakes up for the day between 5 and 6am.  While that has been trialing, it was tolerable.  Now, however, I am really struggling.  Eliana has become a terror at nighttime.  Or maybe terrified?  When bedtime comes, Eliana has refused to get in her bed and started screaming.  She says "no bed, no dark.  Bed is bad, dark is bad, sleep is bad."  She just screams "mommy" over and over again.  This has been going on for four nights straight.  I don't know what is going on.  Is she having night terrors?  Is she scared of the dark?  Is she having separation anxiety with mommy and daddy in the other room?  She has been going to bed late, getting up in the middle of the night and staying up for hours, and waking up early.  What do I do?  David and I made a game plan last night.  No more rocking her to sleep or letting her sleep in our bed (which I had been doing sometimes in the morning when she wakes up really early).  We put her to bed and when she gets out of her bed, we just put her back in it.  It is so hard to hear her cry laying in her bed, but cuddling her has not been working.  Last night this went on for about four hours from 11:30 to 3:30 before she finally stayed asleep in bed.  Hopefully it will be better tonight. 

This has shown me, though, a little more what true love is all about.  It is easy to love a cute, well behaved, healthy, and smart little girl.  It is a lot harder to love someone who cries for hours on end for no apparent reason, especially night after night making you completely exhausted.  When she's not the perfect child, can I still love her?  It has been so hard.  I have gotten so upset and frustrated with her.  To tell the truth, I have really not enjoyed being her mother these past few nights.  Every night I have prayed for her to sleep and for me to have more patience.  Love, however, is not the same thing as Like.  I might not like Eliana very much right now.  I might get upset with her and wish she would behave differently.  But through it all, I stick with her and do the best I can.  That's sacrificial love, that we as Christians, and especially as parents, are all called to.  I do love her, even if it doesn't feel like it all the time.  But I remind myself that this too shall pass, and soon some other thing will be our biggest struggle. 

Please excuse this disjointed rambling post from an exhausted mother.  I just needed to vent a little.  If you would, please keep us in your prayers.  Things always seem worse than they are when you haven't had enough sleep. 

Eliana's Prayer

Eliana tucked Minnie Mouse into her bed for a nap, bowed her head, folded her hands, and then said this prayer:

"Bless us O Ward and mommy and daddy ... and and daddy and mommy.  And Ana and grandma and papa and all my babies and Minnie and Bear and Ana and Michael and Melissa and Ana.  Guard us safe and close the door.  And no one come in the door.  And knock on the door.  And Michael and Melissa knock and Ana open the door and let them in.  Amen."

Then she nodded her head, and looked up at me and smiled.