One Month Old

Time is flying!  Can William really be a month old?  He is definitely a growing boy.  At his one month check up today, he was a whooping 12lbs!  That's 92nd percentile.  He was also 21 3/4 in long, which is 56th percentile.  So he is a little wider than he is tall :).  William also has seborrhea like his sister did all over his face which is looking pretty bad.  So Dr. Littleton prescribed him a cream and also started a reflux medicine.  He seborrhea is getting irritated by his constant throwing up.  Plus we are hoping the reflux medicine helps with his fussiness and grunting at night.  We'll see.  He immediately spit up his first dose this afternoon...

I am amazed by all the similarities and the differences between my two children.  I have to admit, it took me a little bit to fall in love with Eliana.  Of course I loved her the moment she was born, but it was different.  I think I was so nervous about everything and being a mom was so new to me that I couldn't fall completely in love with her right away.  Everything felt so unreal.  Like I was pretending to be a mom and after a few days and nights with her, I would have to give her back.  I just didn't know how to be "mom" yet.  It was a more gradual process, falling in love.  Now I take delight in everything she does.  The funny things she says, her inventive imagination, her little jumps and swirls to dance, the way she hugs my arm or hand or leg (whatever she can reach) and kisses it, the way she points to her face and declares "do you see the smile on my face?  It's because I am excited."  She is a joy every day and "the spark in my heart."  But with William, that deep love came right away.  I wasn't as nervous, so there wasn't anything getting in the way of loving him.  From the very beginning he felt like mine and like he was always meant to be a part of our family.  Both of these children are such a blessing in my life.
The other difference is with breastfeeding.  Eliana was such a champ.  She was a born eater and was breastfeeding perfectly within moments of being born.  I had no problems imagining breastfeeding her until she was a year old and beyond.  William, however, is not a very good breastfeeder.  It took him longer to figure things out and he still requires a lot of support.  He pops on and off, needs help with his latch, and sometimes bites when he gets too tired to nurse properly.  Back when I was going to La Leche League meetings with Eliana, someone once said something I didn't really understand then but do now:  When you think of your breastfeeding goals, it is good to hope for a year or six months or so on.  But sometimes you can't think like that.  When it is hard, make your goal to breastfeed for one more day.  That's it.  Just one more day.  You might think, boy there is no way I can do  this for another six months, and you feel too overwhelmed.  But a goal of one day at a time is manageable.  Celebrate each day of making your goal of one more day.  Because each day IS a success.  No pressure, just one more day.  I'm not saying that I am going to quit breastfeeding William tomorrow.  Obviously we are doing something right if he weighs 12 pounds already!  But he really makes me work for it!