Wednesday, April 20, 2016

We're having a baby!

I think most people know already, but just in case you missed the news, I'm pregnant!  Our sweet little baby should be born sometime in September.  We are all really excited, especially Eliana who is already telling people she is having a baby sister (wishful thinking - we won't find out until next week the sex of the baby).  Eliana keeps telling me that she has been praying for a baby, specifically a baby sister, and likes to gently hug my belly and whisper to the baby.  She tells the baby the cutest things, just whatever she is up to at the time.  Like whispering to my belly, "Baby, I'm going to brush my teeth now, I'll be right back!"  William is not so gentle and likes to body slam my belly or give it a good smack.  I'm always having to tell him to be gentle.  Eliana told him that babies say "Goo-goo, gaa-gaa" so he often comes up to my belly and says goo-goo gaa-gaa, I assume trying to talk to the baby in baby language.  He will however, now respond with "baby" when you ask him what is in mommy's belly. 
Eliana has always seemed to me to be older than her age says.  When I got pregnant with William, she seemed totally ready to be a big sister.  We told her right away and she seemed excited about having a sibling immediately.  The "Big Sister" role seemed to fit her from the very beginning.  She has always loved babies and held other friend's babies since she was little enough to sit still and not drop them.  She was 30 months old when William was born.  Will, however, still seems like a little baby to me.  Maybe because he has always been the youngest, while with Eliana I had no one to compare her to.  I had to make a conscious effect to switch from calling William a baby to a toddler.  For example, telling Eliana that William gets to ride in the stroller and she doesn't because he is a baby and she is a big girl.  Now I have to say "because he is a toddler!" to which Eliana responds, "He is a baby toddler."  I guess she is not ready for him to grow up either.  I didn't make a big deal to William about having a baby in my tummy like I did with Eliana when she first became a big sister.  I have a hard time thinking of William as a big brother.  The title doesn't seem to fit him yet.  But he will be 26 months old when this baby is born - really not that much younger than when Eliana became a big sister.  However every day William is showing me more and more that he is growing up and really isn't a baby anymore.  He speaks in really long sentences - 4 or 5 words usually with appropriate grammar.  He has opinions about what books he likes to read and definitely what foods he likes to eat.  He can climb all over the place, is very independent at the playground, and is constantly getting into danger.  Just yesterday he helped me make waffles for breakfast and managed to stir the batter (mostly) without spilling.  So really, he's not my baby anymore.  Plus, seeing him interact with his little cousin Claire has shown me that maybe he is ready to be a big brother after all.

Pregnancy after miscarriage has been difficult.  I was very nervous at first (an understatement), and we told no one until after the first doctor's appointment.  I had a lot of spotting with this pregnancy at first, which was extremely scary.  I didn't have that with William and Eliana, just with the third pregnancy.  I was an emotional wreck and crying a lot until we finally saw the little heart beat on ultrasound at 7 weeks.  Even after that though, I was still very scared.  I felt like I was holding my breath until the next doctor's appointment when I could hear the heart beat again.  Luckily, God saw fit to relieve some of my anxiety by allowing me to feel this baby move very early.  At exactly 15 weeks, I started to feel little kicks and flutters.  Now at 18 weeks, I feel them getting stronger every day, which fills my heart with joy and hope.  Just like the baby saying, "Don't worry Mom, I'm still here, safe inside of you." 
At first, I wondered if we should have waited a little longer to get pregnant again.  I had such a hard time emotionally with this pregnancy.  Plus, physically it was hard to go through morning sickness and fatigue all over again so soon.  But as with the last pregnancy, we had just left things up to God.  We really had no reason to avoid getting pregnant, so we were just allowing God to bless us with a baby when He saw fit.  So while MY plan might have been to wait a little longer, God had a plan of his own.  But I can already see how this baby is blessing our family.  Eliana is so happy, and I think her prayers may be a big reason why I am pregnant again so soon.  She must have a direct line to God's heart - she prayed for snow and after a mild winter of 60 degree days in January and February, we had an unexpected snowfall in early April! I also think God knew I would need David's support, emotionally and physically, during the hard first trimester.  During this chief year, David has so much more time than he will come July.  So he has been my rock.  He took on a lot of responsibilities with the kids and the household while I laid on the couch sick and exhausted.  God's timing is perfect.  Luckily now I am feeling much better.  I am very excited and hopeful for this pregnancy.  As I said, we will have our next ultrasound next week week and find out if we are having a boy or a girl!

Hard to see the baby - just looks like a tiny blob because I was only 7 weeks along.  But most importantly, I could see a little heart fluttering just as fast as could be - about 150 beat per minute.  I cried when I saw that, I didn't even need the doctor to point it out. 

From Easter - 15 weeks

Couple of happy kids with my belly

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